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Οι κανόνες του POWER METAL

Πέτυχα σε ένα SΙTE τους 101 κανόνες του POWER METAL.
Από αυτούς επέλεξα όσους μου άρεσαν και σας τους παρουσιάζω.
Για τους γνωρίζοντες νομίζω η λίστα είναι απλά θεϊκή. Πάρτε :

1. You have one goal: be epic.
2. Let no sound be lonely. If there's a guitar solo, harmonize it. If there's singing, make it a choir.
3. Keyboards offer a way to add thousands of different textures to a song. Find two of those that you like and use them on every song you write.
4. In a power metal world, everything steel is good, and anything good must be compared to steel.
5. Remember how no sound should be alone? Same goes for albums. Everything can have a sequel!
6. Swords enhance your credibility and your performance. Be sure to carry one regardless of whether or not you know anything about using one.
7. Pick a theme and stick to it. Manowar are warriors of true metal, and they don't get to sing about anything else. Rhapsody has their Algalord chronicles. Hammerfall has their steel, hammers, and templar. Running Wild has pirates. Blind Guardian has Tolkein. None of them are allowed to sing about anything else.
8. The longer a song is, the more epic it is. See rule #1.
9. More solos means more epic.
10. If at all possible, be Michael Kiske.
11. If this is not possible, pretend to be Michael Kiske.
12. Your album cover should include at least one of the following: fire, steel, weird glowing magical items, irregularly muscular men, fists thrust into the air, weaponry, magic creatures (preferably dragons), or bright beams of light around somebody/something.
13. If you can't be Michael Kiske, you can at least be Timo Tolkki.
14. Actually, don't be Timo Tolkki.
15. In case you didn't know, "symphonic" is synonymous with "epic." See rule #1.
16. Just because 300 bands before you have already done "epic," there's always room for more.
17. Songs come in two tempos: metal and ballad.
18. Audiences need to be able to sing along. Make it catchy.
19. Tight. Pants.
20. Unfortunately, you need at least two guitar players. How else are you going to have dueling guitar solos?
21. Keyboards may substitute for one guitar player, as long as they can solo.
22. Fortunately, you don't need a bass player! Or at least, you never have to use the same bassist twice.
23. Begin all songs with one big swelling chord on the keyboard.
24. Layer your vocals, hundreds upon hundreds of times. Don't worry about them live.
25. Never use mundane words in your lyrics. Nothing is epic if you don't use words like "majesty," "glorious," "magical," and so on.
26. Wizards! You need wizards!
27. Although your costume does not require corpse paint, it will require a cape, lots of jewelry, and the aforementioned swords.
28. Unless you are Manowar, in which case you are too metal for clothing.
29. Songs don't begin at full speed. Gradually work your way into an epic frenzy.
30. Acoustic guitars are for intros and bridges. Then crush them with steel.
31. Concept albums are totally epic. Nobody will ever see it coming.
32. More sequels = more epic. See rule #7.
33. Guest vocalists, guest guitarists, and any special appearances from outside your band will make your sound more epic, even if the track sounds just like all the other songs on the album with an extra solo.
34. Begin songs at half-tempo, and then, when listeners least expect it (i.e. at exactly the same time it happens in all your other songs) kick into full speed complete with double-bass and power chords.
35. Bass players: one note. Really fast.
36. Never leave Europe.
37. For purposes of rule #36, Japan may be counted as part of Europe.
38. Oh, and South America was colonized by Europeans, so it can count too.
39. Orchestras make a great addition to your album. Since you can't afford one, find a new patch on your keyboard.
40. If your live album does not have the crowd singing all the harmony parts for you, you aren't epic enough to justify a live album.
41. If you are U.S. American, you probably aren't actually a power metal band. Sing about tanks, or something.
42. Remember, shaving is epic, haircuts are not.
43. Entire albums must be recorded in the same key.
44. Remember, power metal fans are not gay. They are just comfortable with their masculinity.
45. In your liner notes, thank everybody you toured with, even if they're Stratovarius.
46. Complain about Stratovarius constantly even though you've bought all their albums and listen to them more than anything else in your collection.
47. Power metal must be pure; do not mix it with other metal styles.
48. To repeat: be epic.